If you have a colleague with ADHD
My friend texted me last week, I’m pretty sure my colleague has ADHD. He is all over the place. Can you point me to any resources to help me deal with him?
So I researched and researched and didn’t find much. There is plenty of advice for people with ADHD, but almost no advice if your colleague or your boss has ADHD.
So, I got my friend on the phone. Here’s how the conversation went:
Jon: So tell me about your colleague?
Friend: Our calls take three times as long as they should. He can’t finish his thoughts. He interrupts me all of the time. He forgets what we have decided twenty minutes ago and brings up stuff we already agreed on.
Jon: So does he have ADHD?
Friend: Well he has never mentioned it but it sure looks like it to me.
Jon: Looks like it to me too.
It was a new colleague and my friend didn’t yet feel comfortable bringing up the possibility that he might have ADHD. So, I gave him some advice:
Awareness - Just being aware that a colleague may have ADHD will help you manage your interactions with them. If you can put yourself in that person’s shoes and be an ally then you might be surprised how productive your colleague with ADHD can be.
Ask them - If you know this person well, it might be okay to ask if they had ever been assessed for ADHD? Many people first learn about ADHD when a trusted colleague, friend, or family member brings up the issue.
Talk about specific behaviors - If you don’t feel comfortable asking them if they have ADHD, bring up their specific symptoms in a calm, non-judgemental way: I value everything you have to say, but sometimes I can’t finish my thoughts because you interrupt me. Are you aware of that? Is that something we can work on together?
Follow good project management practices - Send agendas before meetings. Send follow up notes after a meeting describing what was agreed upon. These are good practices anyhow, but creating structure for your colleague with ADHD will help. Structure is one of the best medicines for ADHD.
Set some boundaries - If your colleague or boss with ADHD is making it very hard to manage your job, you will have to set some boundaries: I can’t go past 6 tonight as I have family obligations or If you are late for the staff meeting, we will start without you.
It doesn’t always work out - If you have done everything you can to figure out how to work well with somebody with ADHD, but your ADHD colleague’s behavior isn’t changing and they are in denial about their issues, then it may be time to find a way to not work too closely with that colleague.
It’s crazy how little is written about this topic given that there must be millions of colleagues of people with ADHD. I will keep paying attention to it.
P.S. I have developed a workshop on this topic to educate managers and employees about neurodiverse colleagues. Feel free to pass this along to somebody at your company (culture, DEI) who might be interested.